My sit-down comedy routine on boundaries

A million thanks to WOW, Diana Lindsay, and George Henny for capturing this in 2012. I just got this yesterday, so if you missed this- here is my own journey learning boundaries. There are also many other women's stories saved by WOW and worth watching.
Enjoy! Happy 2014! May your boundaries serve you well!

Making a video of the workshop for people to use at home

Sunday, Dec 22 2013, the crew arrives to shoot a video of my Transform Your Boundaries Workshop. Chris Gabriel from Laughing Jack Ent. did the filming. I love his work and am so fortunate he is doing this project. 

This is the little scene Chris and crew set up in my office for filming.  My blue chair which is the very same chair I brought to the WOW stage for my sit-down routine on boundaries. I just had a logo made using this chair. It completely fits for a therapist to get attached to a specific chair.

Getting ready to start filming with these thoughts in my head.  I am not an actor, I have no business making a video, So what? Enjoy this moment, there is plenty of love and support in the room. (My favorite are piece from James Madison- the red dancing crabs are over my shoulder)

Love and support team in the room. Angels! Who would come on Sunday December 22 and sit in the room to give me some energy! Ned Farley, Diana Lindsay, Dayle Gray, and my beloved husband Ken. We kept this audience off camera. There was a sudden moment when film crew decided they didn't want the microphone in my turtleneck and I had to try on the clothes the audience was wearing to see if something would work better. Audience of course generously starting handing me the clothes. A moment with a enough laughter to get the worst nerves out. Then the camera rolls and I am literally reading my name off of a page. Ned and Diana remind the film crew, re shoot that! 

 

 

Are boundaries for everyone?

Are boundaries for everyone? 

Only if you think world peace is important.

Love,  Sarri

Will you protect your boundaries?

Ever wonder about people who don’t get it?  You’ve said, “No. Please don’t, I would prefer if you didn’t…”  You hear yourself saying, “I’ve said it a thousand times and still they keep doing it!”

Sometimes when we set boundaries, we need to take a lesson from nature.  This hive is a great image for boundaries.  If someone doesn’t respect your polite and nicely stated “no”, go ahead and put a little sting into it.

Other people show us exactly how much sting we need in our boundary.  If someone responds to your polite and gentle “no”, there is no need to put any sting in it.

But if the person crashes through your boundary, stop being kind and sweet.  Wipe the smile off your face and put some sharp “stingers” into your “No”.

It is not “mean” to be firm when someone needs it.

Some people are not respecting your boundary.

The wasps will protect their boundary.  Will you protect yours?

Boundary Practice Lesson Cards are available here

It is December, Boundary Season is Now Open

Four Rules:

1-    No credit-card binging

2-    Try not to make it ONLY about ‘others’

3-    Repeat this word as much as possible and see what happens: ‘Enough’

4-    Go outside and play!

enough enough Enough enough

Every day is actually a day to know your boundaries, but December offers extra challenges to everyone. 

Try not to make this month ONLY about ‘others’.  It is important to take care of yourself during the holiday season.  Rest, relax, play.  This is the season when people feel so much pressure and expectations from others and from ourselves.  Some of those expectations may be real some are imagined. It is good to sit down and talk with those closest to you about expectations for the holiday season and get clear on your priorities and how you will spend your time. Not just serve, plan, shop, wrap, give, work extra, give, give, do, do, do.  I do some things to be sure I have saved some time for myself to go for long walks, and to play and have fun with my family.  I like to knit, but I need to limit how much knitting for ‘others’ I expect of myself.  Each year I make my husband one sweater, but I allow myself to complete it whenever I get it done, not necessarily in December. I don’t believe in credit card gifting, so I focus on not binge-spending. Everything looks so darn appealing this time of year. I take inventory in my closet to remind myself that I have plenty of clothes, and so does everyone else I love.

The word that helps me with boundaries in December is ‘Enough’.

What makes setting boundaries hard?

I have been a therapist for 27 years.  I have learned that many people are struggling with their true Yes and No. Problems with Yes and No can show up as all kinds of other things such as a relapse, depression, anxiety, even physical pain.  It seems that even if people come to see me about marriage counseling, or work related stress, no matter what they come in for, we are probably going to need to do some deep digging out of their true Yes and No. Over many years, and much practice, I have created a way of digging out boundaries, a set of tools,  to help people.

I have created a map that anyone can use to dig out their inner Yes and No. While I truly do not know what boundaries you need in your life, I believe deep inside you know. I teach people to use the map to dig out their own inner Yes and No.

Sometimes people don't like their inner truth. They argue with their own Yes and No. It can be hard to accept what you find inside, often it is not what you want to hear. This stuff can be very tricky because sometimes you really really want your Yes and No to take care of other people. You want it to be ok that you sacrifice everything for someone else.

But deep inside, your very own Yes and No isn't able to take care of anyone else. Your boundaries only take care of you, and that is what makes setting boundaries so hard. Your boundaries aren't here to please or take care of other people.

Visit my website www.sarrigilman.com for workshops and tools to strengthen your boundaries.