Showing posts from July, 2014

The Difference between Me and Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer

The Difference between Me and Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer
If you are a fan of Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer, you know that while he is world-famous as a dog trainer, he is actually a boundary teacher. He actually uses the word “boundary” on his website more than I use it on mine. If you don’t believe me, check out
I love watching Cesar’s show. I never tire of watching him teach boundaries to humans, again and again. Teaching boundary skills is so darn rewarding because like Cesar, I see results immediately. Like Cesar, I empower humans to achieve balance in their lives.
Of course, teaching boundaries to humans interacting with dogs is different from teaching humans how to use boundaries with other humans.
#1- Dogs go into a calm, submissive state when you set boundaries with them appropriately. Unfortunately, humans do not. In fact, when you set boundaries with humans, sometimes they have a fit. The emotional storm can vary in intensity. No need to stand t…

Moving People Forward with Kate

I’m doing Transform Your Boundaries® Workshops on the road, training a variety of people in professions working intensively with people. This interview is with Kate Grossman McVay, who I believe is truly masterful at transforming organizations and communities by moving people forward together. I am honored to say she is my friend. When I met her many years ago, she had stepped in to clean up a huge mess in an organization. She won me over with her diligence, teamwork, ability to see a better future, and honesty.
Sarri: Share a little bit about the breadth of your work.
Kate: I have been engaged in work with youth and families for almost 30 years.I began my career at a Community Center in Chicago, working in an immigrant community to develop youth leadership and job training programs.When I came to Seattle in the 1990s, I became involved in developing and operating residential programs for homeless youth. For the last 12 years, I have worked for the University of Washington’s Northwest I…

Stress and Leadership

In the book 'Leadership and the Art of Struggle', Steven Snyder has interviewed leaders across sectors and industries, all facing challenges. He concludes that many executives struggle with resilience when they are thrown 'off balance'. He describes all of the symptoms I describe when we become symptomatic without sufficient self-care skills.
The truth is that our boundaries are the main operating system for our self-care. When leaders were out of 'balance" as he describes, he saw symptoms of hair loss, sleeplessness, depression, anger, self-doubt.
These symptoms undermine the ability to dig out of extreme challenges. In the face of challenges, leaders and executives will find themselves unable to problem solve and provide support and leadership to their team.
This is one of the many reasons why I have devoted myself to teaching people about their own boundary system and how to use it. This is your main operating system to problem solve, face challenges when t…

3 Steps to Do Your Big Things That Matter and manage your sh#*-list

If you want to accomplish your mission, your purpose, get the things that really matter to you done, it requires setting boundaries on your sh#*-list.

Someone attending a workshop raised her hands to her face, set her hands like walls around her face and said, "I am trying to focus on what I really want to do, not just my list of things I need to do."

She spoke a brilliant truth.

It is easy to get consumed by the things that are due, the stuff on the list. It requires setting boundaries on that stuff so you can get to what really matters, your Really Matters list.
#1 Write the Really Matters list every day. (RM next to it on the list you make for your day)

You have to know your things that really matter for the year, set your vision, and then break that down to month, week and days. Just important to know what do you need to do to actually be doing the stuff that Really Matters.

Usually people keep track by writing down all the little things, like mail this, return that call…