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Showing posts from 2016

Are You A Leader, Now ?

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Post Election, and on Veterans Day, I am finding solace thinking about leadership. I taught leadership development for 7 years. Here is some truth about leadership:
Leadership begins when you are asked to take responsibility for what you say and what you do. This process begins when you are a child.  Many of you will have memories of those lessons.
Leadership is how you treat other people, not because someone is watching or a TV crew is following you.
It is how you behave because you have become an adult who thinks deeply about your actions, your purpose, and your impact on other people.
Leadership is something you do every single day. Not only on days when you are given a prize, or elected, or promoted. You can’t be given the status.
Leadership is not something you just “start” doing. . It is a part of your soul that you have grown, nurtured, developed. Leadership is made of your values and purpose you have held onto when faced with tough choices and difficulties. Leadership is a pro…

Are You A Leader ?

Post Election, and on Veterans Day, I am finding solace thinking about leadership. I taught leadership development for 7 years. Here is some truth about leadership:
Leadership begins when you are asked to take responsibility for what you say and what you do. This process begins when you are a child.  Many of you will have memories of those lessons.
Leadership is how you treat other people, not because someone is watching or a TV crew is following you.
It is how you behave because you have become an adult who thinks deeply about your actions, your purpose, and your impact on other people.
Leadership is something you do every single day. Not only on days when you are given a prize, or elected, or promoted. You can’t be given the status.
Leadership is not something you just “start” doing. . It is a part of your soul that you have grown, nurtured, developed. Leadership is made of your values and purpose you have held onto when faced with tough choices and difficulties. Leadership is a pro…

The Fierce Act of Partnering and Boundaries

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by Sarri Gilman, LMFT I am embarking on a new partnership with my boundary work. I’d like to share what it means to me to form partnerships and honor my needs and boundaries. To me, any business that wants to thrive in our times, needs to partner. I have been forming partnerships to launch and grow efforts for three decades and the truth is, partnering is a fierce act that is not for people who are afraid. I can’t take risks and at the same time, hold back. I can’t be trusting while at the same time, suspicious.
The Partnership Handshake My approach to partnering has been the following: 1.All my business deals for three decades have been made with a handshake. It means we honor our word to each other. Our purpose, our mission together, is meaningful to each of us. (

Boundaries, Medicine, and You

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What makes your life worth living is one of the most intimate and important things for you to know about yourself. What matters most to you may be under construction. What matters most will change many times over the course of your lifetime.
In the book Being Mortal, you get to stand inside Dr. Gawande’s head as he asks the most important questions about where is the line, the boundary, where medicine does more harm than good.
On every page of this book I thought of my conversations with clients over the years. What is most important to you right now? Since I don’t have any medicine to offer, when my clients are struggling with serious health issues, as a therapist my tools are to help people know, truly know, what matters most to them and sort out how they want to proceed with their medical care.
As I read Being Mortal, Dr. Gawande explains what he has learned through these conversations. But he is honest about how ill-equipped he was to have these conversations, regrets he had, an…

The Best Way to Care for Your Emotions or What to do about the Guy in the Pool

We are feeling beings. Emotions are like a weather system; they are always passing through. Stay aware and recognize your emotions. Your emotions belong to you. Pay attention to your feelings. If you do not take care of your feelings, they will become very troubling. 
My friend Phil asked me to share some of the best ways to care for your emotions.
First, never ever take a feeling at “face value”. What you see at first is only the face of an emotion - anger, sad, embarrassed, anxious, etc. There is always more behind that surface of a feeling. You need to Unmask it. Get to know what is behind the surface of the feeling.

Be curious and ask yourself questions about your feelings. Do an investigation. I promise you will make discoveries. As you get better at investigating feelings, you can do this with others, but for now, practice with yourself.
What brought this feeling to the surface? What happened? What story am I telling myself about what happened? Am I willing to hear any othe…